My Current Brain Spasm

My friend said that this should be published somewhere.  It was a private message, but I'm happy to share it with all my readers.

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I read a lot of blogs about mothering, organizing, cleaning, this, that, and the other thing AND I think they put too much pressure on me to be the perfect mother. I AM NOT perfect. I can't have a baby whenever I want to. My house IS NOT clean. My laundry IS NOT organized, I don't cook naturally for EVERY meal. I don't follow a meticulous budget, and I don't make all my own "green" decorations and kids' clothes. I don't always pray and give things to God in stressful situations or direct my kids to do that. I break down and yell and scream. 

I am not perfect! I am normal. 

I'm not going to live up to the standards of being a "missional" mother. I'm not going to be able to always give my kids a clean diet and a keep a clutter free home. I'm not going to have days full of educational and Biblical activities that my kids can do so that I don't have to turn on the TV. I'm never going to cook without a microwave. I'm never going to always talk in a happy, cheery voice and smile at everyone I see. 

But, what I am going to be is the best I can be IN CHRIST to love and cherish my family so they can see HIM in our home. My kids will know that I am a fallen, sinful human being who without Christ would be damned to Hell. And, it is only through His work in me and His call on my life that I am who I am today.

Cultures Clash!

This past week I had to take my daughter to get extensions put in her hair.  We're trying to get her natural hair to grow long faster and, according to African American hair experts, extensions is the way to go.  I have become pretty proficient at hairstyles for my daughter, but putting in extensions is far beyond my level of expertise.

I found a salon that did a beautiful job with her hair in the middle of September.  About a week ago, it became apparent that she needed new extensions put in, so I called and made an appointment for Thursday morning.  I found childcare for my 3 busy boys, got up early, dropped the boys off, and got to my 10:00 a.m. appointment...not a small feat.  I arrived at the salon and found our stylist weaving another girl's hair.  Needless to say, I was a upset.  How could you make an appointment with someone and forget to write it in your book?

After a few minutes, we came to an agreement that I would come back in 2 hours and her hair would get done.  I left to hang out with my boys for a little bit and came back.  From the moment I walked in the door, the tension was THICK.  When they started on my daughter's hair, the would not allow me to sit in the room with her.  I stepped out of the room, calmed down, and returned to explain to them that I never leave my daughter alone with strangers.  The stylist and her boss reacted strongly, thinking I meant that I believed they would harm her in some way.  That is not what I was saying, but that's what they thought. 

So, we got it worked out that I could sit in the door way (I'm not sure how this was better then putting a chair up against the wall in the salon room) and people had to step over me to get in and out.  From that point on, they gave me the silent treatment, got 2 stylists working on Abby's hair, and got me out of there as fast as they could without another word.

While I was there, a father dropped off his daughter, who was younger than mine, and left her there alone to get a style put in that would probably take a few hours.  I don't understand how you can leave a small child alone in that situation.  I can't imagine not being there for Abby when she was afraid of the hair dryer, or not being there for her to tell me she had to use the bathroom. 

I have decided that what I experienced was a cultural difference that I am going to face whenever I take my children into the African American culture to have their needs met and learn about their roots.   Though I'm willing to learn how they approach different situations, I'm not sure the feeling is mutual in some circles we encounter and I believe that I experienced an unwillingness to understand my culture and my parenting decisions about what is best for my child. 

To the people who decided to give up my son and daughter instead of adopting them...

I really wish you could have spent the last two days with the children you cared for as your son and daughter.  She just turned four on Saturday and he will be six in a month.  You had them when she was a baby and he was two.  I cannot understand how you could care for them as your own children for an extended period of time and then decide to give them away like they were puppies or something. 

I wish you could have been here to hear my son tell me that he does not love me because you are the only parents he has ever loved and he will never love anyone else.  I wish you could be here to explain your decision to him as he kicks his foot completely through the drywall in his room because he's angry about getting the wrong kind of candy.  I wish you could be here to explain to him why he had to leave his dog behind when he went to a new home.  I pray every day that your poor choice does not screw him up for the rest of his life. 

I love my son dearly, but it would have been so much better for him if you would have honored the commitment you made to him in the beginning and chose to get help to work through his issues with him instead of handing him back to the system.  You know, a neglected child doesn't behave very well and you really could have worked with him and sought professional help in order to deal with him so that maybe by now, since he will be six soon, he would be able to function normally. 

You know what, he is an amazing child with an incredible sense of humor, who is really smart and really loving.  Unfortunately, because of your lack of commitment to him, it takes a lot of work to get past the anger in order to see who he really is and have the opportunity spend time with that sweet boy. 

I hope your life is perfect and you are happy with your decisions!

Sincerely,
The mother who will never give up on him

living without

It was a huge sacrifice for me to start staying home from work to mother our four children full time.  It was a also a very hard adjustment emotionally and financially.  It was true that the babysitter was making more money per hour then I was, but we still had more money.

This change is very evident to me today.  We are almost finished with a major house rearrange because my 4 year old grew out of his toddler bed.  That meant we had to move the 3 boys to a bigger room, give our daughter their room (moving her out of ours) and finally deciding to trade our bedroom and the basement living room. 

Today, as we enter the final stages of the transition, I am cleaning a 12 ft by 18 ft handwoven wool persian rug that we got for free off of Craigslist.  The original purchase price of this rug was around $16,000 25 years ago.  The rug has a small damaged corner and is absolutely filthy, but is also very beautiful and sturdy and will hold up in our high traffic (4 kids, 3 dogs, 1 cat) bedroom space.  This rug was a real find.  In a clean condition, it will work perfect for our new basement master bedroom/office suite that we are creating today and tomorrow.  But, I have to say all this work is wearing me out!

So, how am I learning to live without?  If I was still working, I would have bought an appropriate sized rug and had it installed, with no work for me.  I would have been able to hire someone to help with our house transition instead of Dave and I having to do all the work.  I also noticed the ceiling in our basement, recycled paneling we got off of Craigslist.  It isn't pristine and gorgeous, but it does the job. 

Today I am faced with the hard lesson of living simply and doing the best I can with what we have.  I am learning lessons about my sinfulness as I covet what others have and selfishly desire for our new room to be immaculate and perfect.  But I thank God for the grace he gives me and the lesson I am learning about being simple and doing the best with what He has given us.  And, I will be excited tomorrow when all this hard work is behind me and I am relaxing in my new living room and bedroom with my hubby and kiddos!

the things I'm learning about decluttering...

We live in a very small 3 bedroom house with a family of 6.  Needless to say, we have a hard time staying on top of the amount of stuff we accumulate.  In addition to the regular household accumulation, we also have all of our homeschooling stuff.  We are also creative people, so there are supplies for crafts, art, music, and scrapbooking AND we have now started getting ready for Christmas, since we are making all our own presents this year, and that also takes up space.  It is all very overwhelming!

So, here are the steps I am taking to reduce clutter and free up space for the things we really need and intend to use:

1.  I am not keeping anything I don't intend to use in the next 6 months.  No extra school supplies, no extra arts and crafts supplies, none of it!  I find that I usually lose the stuff I stock up on and end up rebuying it anyway.  This way, I will be saving both money and space in my home by not stocking up on the "deals" I find during this time of the year.

2.  The kids' rooms are zoned off.  They are simple and limited to the children's special belongings, their clothes, and toys that remain in that space to be played with.  We have a building and cars station in the boys' room and a kitchen/baby care station in our girl room.  When we finish the living room, the same thing will happen.  There are certain toys that can only be played with in the there.  In doing this, we are also reducing the amount of toys we keep in the house.  We have purchased a "special bin" for each child where they can keep their personal belongings and they are limited to that amount of space for personal items.  We are trying hard to reduce the tendancy toward hoarding that our older two children have.

3.  Each thing that we keep is limited to a certain amount of space and if we have too much stuff to fit in that space, we need to get rid of something.  This will keep us from being overwhelmed with too much of one thing, but will allow us to have what we need in the home for all of our interests.

4.  Reduce the wardrobe!  Everyone is limited to 10 outfits for each season and no more than 5 pairs of shoes.  I have less laundry that piles up because I have no choice but to do it and put it away every week and everyone has less clothes to manage.  Simplifying our wardrobes helps us to be more grateful for what we have. 

5.  SIMPLIFY!  We are working hard to simplify everything we do to make our home a more comfortable place for everyone to live.  I love the Virtually Organized blog by Debbie Kravitz and she posted a very inspiring post this week for simplifying our lives and our homes:  http://virtuallyorganized.com/2010/08/eliminate-the-unnecessary-2/

Hope this helps you move forward in your decluttering!

Grace based parenting #2

Tim Kimmel, in his book, Grace Based Parenting, discusses the concept of securely loving our children.  Secure love is important for their emotional development and how they carry on in their adult lives.

What's interesting about love is that children can know that you love them, but can feel like they are less important than other things in your life.  Do you give your children more time and attention then your hobbies and responsibilities?  Is the time you are spending with your children quality time or half-hearted?  This is really challenging me because there are days where I feel like a failure as far as giving my children appropriate attention.  Can I take a minute out of my chores to have a quality conversation with them?  Can I include them in the chore I'm working on so they get that bonding time with me?  Can I take 30 minutes and read them some books, sing some songs, play a game?  These are my challenges this month.  My schedule needs to communicate how important they are to me.

Another concept that Kimmel addresses is my attitude toward my children and the amount of work they are to me.  Do I approach caring for them as a burden or a privilege?  My children are all small.  Only one of them is independent enough that I can ask him for help, at age 7.  The other 3 really need help with daily grooming tasks, they need coached on clean-up and chores, how they eat at the table, all the little things that go into training small children.  When we go out in public, I have to be close to them at all times and keep tabs on them because I am not guaranteed that they will stay with me in a store.  It's for their safety and it's a lot of work.  Do they hear me talking about all these responsibilities as a burden or a privilege?  If they grow up constantly believing they are a burden to me because all I do is complain about how much work they are, am I communicating secure love to them?  This is another challenge that I am facing this month as I adjust my attitude toward caring for them.  I want them to grow up believing they are a privilege to raise instead of a burden.  I am thankful for these years because they aren't going to stay little forever.  They need to know they are worth the work and effort.

The last concept that I am ruminating on is the concept of honoring their unique personalities.  How often does our fatigue, frustration, and annoyance with our children put down things about their personalities that they have no control over?  Do we tell our children that their laughs are annoying, their passions are a waste of time, or the things they like aren't interesting enough for us to care about?  When we choose not to share in their passions and to put down things about them they cannot change, we are really cutting down their ability to know secure love.  I love that my oldest son gets excited about superheros.  Do I take enough time to listen to the things he tells me and encourage him in his imagination or am I communicating to him that I don't care about his joy?  Do I encourage my daughter in her love for singing and her ability to play alone or do I tell her to stop singing because I'm annoyed and chastise her for being anti-social?  My kids need to know that I absolutely love their unique qualities and that they are worth the attention that I give them.

What are your challenges as a parent?  What do you think about secure love and how are you communicating your children's importance to them?   

Life at Teen Challenge

Dave and I live at Teen Challenge where Dave works as a drug and alcohol counselor.  The center is located at an old military facility in Western PA.  Teen Challenge has been located here for over 30 years.

This place is in the middle of nowhere.  The driveway is almost a mile long up a long and winding dirt road hill.  You have to know it's here to even find it.  It's not just a random place you would drive past on a drive through the country.

The entire time the facility has been here, occasionally in the middle of the night, someone will drive up here, honk their horn, speed around the parking lot to turn around and leave.  Recently this has been going on and the director has taken action to block the top of the hill so no one can get up here.  Graduates of the program can remember it happening at certain points during their stay here.

Recently, one of the counselors of the program was talking to a woman from the community.   When the counselor described the program to her and the location, she recognized it as the old military facility.  Then she told the counselor, "that's the place where you drive to the top of the hill, honk your horn three times, and then you can see a ghost..." 

Mystery solved, or is it?

when you dry hot peppers, put the dehydrator on the porch

We have had one day of food dehydrating in Louis Manor.  The kids call the strawberries and bananas, "Astronaut Fruit."  They taste delicious!  We are getting some experience with produce and intend to move into jerky in the near future.  It is surprising how much water is in all the produce.  It comes out a lot smaller than how it went in.

We have successfully dried bananas, strawberries, tomatoes, and hot peppers.  I intend to make spices out of the hot peppers and use the tomatoes for soups and salads.

The only mistake we've made so far, since it is not an exact science, is that we have dried hot peppers in our kitchen and it gives the whole house a "pepper spray" type feeling.  The kids ran around all morning plugging their noses until we were able to get out of the house.  Therefore, we have learned FOOD DEHYDRATING LESSON NUMBER 1:  When you dry hot peppers, put the dehydrator on the porch.  That way you will keep the fumes outside!

I'm going to have to dehydrate the fruit more rapidly to keep up with the demand the kids have for it.  They LOVE IT as a snack.  I am a happy momma to be able to give them a preservative free snack option when we are not at home.

So far, I am impressed with the quality of this dehydrator.  I will know more once I use it for jerky.  This is definitely a way to reduce waste in our home and work toward a healthy alternative for when we eat on the go.  I hope to post pictures soon of what we are making and give some practical suggestions for how to use this dehydrator.

Grace based parenting

I am currently reading this book.  I hope to talk about it further as I finish it.  But, the biggest thing I have learned so far is a change in how I talk to other parents about what they are doing with their kids.  What works for one family, does not always work for another family.

As a Christian mother and leader in the church, when I am helping people figure out how to be the best parent they can be, what works for my family may not work for another person's family.  There isn't a formula about what's right and wrong as far as family activities, hobbies, and schedules.

So, how do I balance my convictions about homeschooling, Godly limits on behavior, attachment, healthy eating, and staying home with my children?  The answer is in the question.  These are MY convictions that God has brought ME to.  Another mother's convictions may be different than mine and there is nothing wrong with that.  Every family has its own unique culture and it is important for me to honor that.  There is not one right way to raise a family.

As I continue to read this book, I hope to post more about what God is showing me and the effects it will have on my family.

Snap Pea Crisps

I really love these for my kids for snack time.  Buying them by the case is the best value for my family.  A case lasts us about one month.  These have really helped our snack time become more healthy.  My kids absolutely LOVE them!

it is fixed!

I can start blogging again! I fixed the language change in my blog titles. YAY!

थिंग्स ठाट मके यू गो हम!

blogger is malfunctioning for me an writing all my headlines in some asian language.

Grieving the Great Chicken Massacre of 2010

It's been hard to face the reality that we have again been invaded by a chicken predator. Two weeks ago Dave went out to see a movie by himself and when he returned, he discovered that my favorite chicken was missing and his favorite chicken was injured.

My chicken was a small grey hen who laid the most adorable green eggs. She was mouthy, but very personable. She was bold and funny. She got along well with all the other chickens.

Dave's favorite is a large Buff Orpington chicken who is the most beautiful color of orange. She laid large dark brown eggs that I loved to use for baking. We affectionately named the chicken "Pirate" because the fox took one of her eyes. We nursed her back to health and have given her to our neighbor who is much more experienced in the care of chickens than we are.

We think it was a fox this time. I really don't like foxes right now.

The chickens were all terrified. Egg production has gone way down. I haven't had to buy any eggs for 8 months. Now I'm adding a dozen eggs to my grocery list this week. We still have 6 chickens and we're hoping they recover soon from their trauma.

We do have a pretty good record, it has been a year since the last senseless slaughter of chickens and our kids did not witness any of it this time. Those are two very good things. Hoping for a better future as we continue to "micro farm."

life before motherhood...

Today is a day where I think about what life was like before I was a mom.

I do have a degree in Urban Studies and a Master of Arts degree. Are these requirements for being a mom... NO. I spend my days cleaning up poopy pants, doing laundry, playing referee, teaching life skills, listening to whining and crying, cooking, cleaning the table, cooking again, cleaning the table again, trying to squeeze all our stuff into a small space... Whew!

But, what happened to my brain? What happened to the things I was trained to do? Well, for now, they are on hold. I used to go into tough urban places to try and bring the hope of Jesus Christ to the broken and hurting. I used to go into churches and teach people how to develop youth and children's ministries in their environments. I used to go into homes and schools and teach families and professionals how to best help their autistic children. It was brainy. I worked hard. I used my training to train other people.

Now... I have traded broken and hurting urban places for the broken and hurting hearts of my children... because they have faced so much grief and loss in their lives so far. I have traded developing ministries for developing homeschool curriculum to use in my home to educate my children. I have traded special needs autistic children for the special needs that come with my children who don't know who to attach to because they have lost everything they were close to while they were waiting for me to be their mommy.

My job now is harder... I guess it does take as much or more brain power to accomplish it. But, on days like today, I feel frumpy and unprofessional. I feel like it takes a lot of effort to connect with any other adult and make any sense or be taken seriously. I know it's just my issue. Sometimes I wish others could see inside my head and understand the conflict between who I used to be and who my children are helping me to become. I know that in the end it will be for the better. It is just going to take some time for me to fully realize what the Lord is doing.

For now, I will take joy in my children when they draw, learn, play, laugh and smile. They won't be this little long and I don't want to miss any minute of it!

Green Bean Fries

To go along with my Tofu nuggets for dinner tonight. I also used grapeseed oil to make green bean fries.

I poured a bag of frozen whole green beans into hot grapeseed oil. Cook until they are dark green and skinny. (about 20 minutes) use a slotted spoon to remove and place on paper towels to cool for about 3 minutes. Lightly salt.

Yum!

Tofu nuggets

This is a very frugal, quick, and healthy meal that my kids love!
Tofu is just over $1 a block.

Ingredients:
Organic Extra-firm Tofu
1/2 cup of corn meal
2 T granulated garlic
1 t salt
grapeseed oil

Chop tofu into cubes
Combine cornmeal, garlic, and salt in a zip lock bag
Seal and shake the bag

Heat grapeseed oil on the stove. You need enough oil to cover the nuggets, about 3/4 inch.

Add Tofu cubes to ziplock bag; shake until all the cubes are coated.

Add 1/2 the cubes to hot oil. Cook until they are golden brown. Remove from oil using a slotted spoon. Place on a paper towel. Repeat with the other half of cubes.

Allow to cool for 10 minutes. Serve with ketchup.

Divine Appointments

I believe in divine appointments. Yesterday my plans changed a little bit and I was intending to go to Target around 12:00 and then go swimming at a friend's house. My friend called and asked if we could come later because she had to clean out the pool. So, we decided to go to Target earlier and then eat lunch.

Target is always an adventure for us. Two kids get buckled into the giant kid cart that is hard to maneuver around the store. I have a list of things to get. The kids always distract me. BUT, I LOVE shopping at Target and prefer getting whatever I can get at that store instead of anywhere else.

Our adventure around the store led us to the right aisle at the right time. We were looking for a small storage shelf to house some things in the boys' new room. We had to excuse ourselves around several other people's carts while we were browsing and trying to find the best storage option for the boys. We ended up in a aisle with a mother and her children. This woman was bold enough to ask me if I adopted our children. And, as you all know, all 4 are adopted.

As we were talking, I found out that she is waiting to adopt a child as well and that she also homeschools. What an amazing encouragement to my day! In the months following my Hazel, my best friend, moving across the ocean, I find that God is really taking care of me and sending me little encouragements along the way.

Chocolate Cake

2 cups king arthur whole wheat flour
1/2 cup king arthur bread flour
1 T baking soda
pinch of salt
1 1/2 cups organic cane sugar
3/4 cup Trader Joe's unsweetened powdered cocoa

4 eggs
1 1/4 cup water
1/3 cup oil
1/2 cup organic cane sugar

sift together with fork first 6 ingredients
whisk together last 4 ingredients
combine wet and dry ingredients

preheat oven 375
pour batter into greased and floured pampered chef large bar baking stone
bake for 15 - 17 minutes

makes a perfect shallow chocolate cake that can easily be turned out of the pan and frosted.

Kids and hubby ate it up for dessert after lunch today. Pretty yummy!

Lapbooking

I'm trying to find creative ways to teach my 2 kindergarten boys, Sean and Evan, this fall. I have decided to use lapbooking for them to learn their letters. They will create a folder with different things glued to it for each letter of the Alphabet. Each lapbook will have different things they have created glued to the inside of a file folder. We will keep the folders to use as review so they can see their progress throughout the year and review what they have learned. I hope this helps my two energetic "twins" as they learn their kindergarten concepts this school year. What a great adventure we are embarking on as we take on officially homeschooling 3 children!

Delicious sausage tomato soup

1 can tomato paste
1 can diced tomatoes
1 chopped zucchini
1 chopped onion
1 cup water
3 T cumin
1 T sugar
4 T granulated garlic
1 T salt

Place in pan and puree with hand blender until chunky and well blended.

Add 1/2 cup of cream cheese in 1 tablespoon scoops.
simmer on low for 10 minutes

chop up your favorite sausage, pre cooked (about 1 1/2 cups chopped)

add to the soup and simmer on low for another 10 minutes.

Soup will will be very thick.

If you are serving more than 4, you may want to double the recipe. The kids and I polished this off for lunch with none left for Daddy.

End of the year tests

I think end of the year tests are as difficult for me as they are for the kids. Sam is doing fantastic as he finishes up 1st grade, but he likes to play games with me and pretend he doesn't remember how to do things. Sam has completed and submitted all of his 1st grade reading and we're still struggling through Math. I will be so happy to be done and be able to focus on our summer schedule where we'll be doing mostly math and just reading for fun. I'm also looking forward to getting ready for next year when I have 2 kindergarteners and 1 second grader. (Abby still gets the free play curriculum for 1 more year.) I am really blessed to be able to have my children home with me. I don't thank God enough for that blessing!

planting the garden

The weather is finally cooperating for planting the garden. I feel like we're overrun with tomatoes. I hope they survive this year. If they don't, my garden will be one big waste! I have high hopes to grow enough tomatoes to can all the tomatoes we'll need for the winter, saving ourselves a bundle of money, AND knowing the ingredients of the food we eat because we made it ourselves. It's really interesting how I'm desiring to do things for myself instead of being drawn to the convenience that was introduced to the generation before me. I feel like I was born in the wrong time period. I would really just like to go back to the Little House on the Prairie era where you did for yourself and traded goods for goods. Life was about your family and survival. Home was simple. (Ma Ingalls had ONE small decoration in their house all those years on the mantle.) You only kept what you needed. Everyone in the household contributed in some way. It sounds so lovely and simple. Gardening brings up all the desires. My dream is for our family to live on a microfarm someday and to experience self-sufficiency, even on a small scale. For now, I have my chickens and my tomatoes. That's enough for this mama to handle!

Sausage Alfredo Pasta

Sausage Alfredo Pasta
made by me this a.m. Yum, Yum!

1 package Trader Joe's Organic Whole Wheat Penne Pasta (prepared according to package)
2 cups milk
2 T cornstarch
1 cup mozzerella
1/2 cup grated parmesan
2 T basil
1 t coarse ground salt
2 t coarse ground pepper
4 grilled sausages
1 cup frozen chopped spinach
3 roma tomatoes, chopped

Combine cornstarch in a small amount of cold water, stir to dissolve.
Combine cornstarch mixture and milk over low heat. Bring to boil, stirring often.
Add cheeses, basil, salt, and pepper.
Simmer on low heat for 8 minutes, stirring often.
Add sausages, spinach, and tomatoes, and heat for 5 more minutes.
Combine sauce with drained pasta and serve.

Serves 8.

Old friends/new friends

My best buddy, Hazel, moved back to Trinidad yesterday after 2 long hard years! Hazel has been my closest, dearest friend for the past 14 years. We have been through so much together. She was in my wedding and everything. It was really sad to see her go, though I know here decision was the right one and led by the Lord. For several weeks, I have refused to face the reality that my buddy, the one I could talk to about anything and everything, my biggest cheerleader, was no longer going to live 20 minutes away. We were no longer going to be able to share babysitting. I don't think I have completely accepted what that means.

But, we have a really timely God. Today, Dave and I spent some time with another Christian couple, who have children similar to the ages of our children, and who really live a parallel life to us in many ways. I don't feel the sadness of losing Hazel as deeply, knowing that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him. Let's see what he has in store for the next chapter!

Life goes back to normal today...

What a rude awakening my children had when they got up and discovered that they have to do school work again after 2 weeks off.  My goal today, Sean will write his name by the end of the day!  Well, that didn't work.  Maybe he'll have S down by the end of the week.  Homeschooling this child is an amazing adventure because he is so willful!  Sam is moving lightning fast through 1st grade.  We may make it to 2nd grade reading in a month or so.  That will be good.  Evan is so excited that he learned to write his name today.  Abby is content to continue to draw circles on every paper I give her.  We did have a color breakthrough today.  She now know red and yellow.  That's better than just yellow.  I love having my kids home with me all day and I'm happy that I don't have to drive down the 1 mile ice covered hilly, curvy driveway to take Sam to the bus at 7:15 a.m.  I'm so thankful that having my kids home together is turning them into such good friends!  They are so much closer now than when Sam went to school.