the things I'm learning about decluttering...

We live in a very small 3 bedroom house with a family of 6.  Needless to say, we have a hard time staying on top of the amount of stuff we accumulate.  In addition to the regular household accumulation, we also have all of our homeschooling stuff.  We are also creative people, so there are supplies for crafts, art, music, and scrapbooking AND we have now started getting ready for Christmas, since we are making all our own presents this year, and that also takes up space.  It is all very overwhelming!

So, here are the steps I am taking to reduce clutter and free up space for the things we really need and intend to use:

1.  I am not keeping anything I don't intend to use in the next 6 months.  No extra school supplies, no extra arts and crafts supplies, none of it!  I find that I usually lose the stuff I stock up on and end up rebuying it anyway.  This way, I will be saving both money and space in my home by not stocking up on the "deals" I find during this time of the year.

2.  The kids' rooms are zoned off.  They are simple and limited to the children's special belongings, their clothes, and toys that remain in that space to be played with.  We have a building and cars station in the boys' room and a kitchen/baby care station in our girl room.  When we finish the living room, the same thing will happen.  There are certain toys that can only be played with in the there.  In doing this, we are also reducing the amount of toys we keep in the house.  We have purchased a "special bin" for each child where they can keep their personal belongings and they are limited to that amount of space for personal items.  We are trying hard to reduce the tendancy toward hoarding that our older two children have.

3.  Each thing that we keep is limited to a certain amount of space and if we have too much stuff to fit in that space, we need to get rid of something.  This will keep us from being overwhelmed with too much of one thing, but will allow us to have what we need in the home for all of our interests.

4.  Reduce the wardrobe!  Everyone is limited to 10 outfits for each season and no more than 5 pairs of shoes.  I have less laundry that piles up because I have no choice but to do it and put it away every week and everyone has less clothes to manage.  Simplifying our wardrobes helps us to be more grateful for what we have. 

5.  SIMPLIFY!  We are working hard to simplify everything we do to make our home a more comfortable place for everyone to live.  I love the Virtually Organized blog by Debbie Kravitz and she posted a very inspiring post this week for simplifying our lives and our homes:  http://virtuallyorganized.com/2010/08/eliminate-the-unnecessary-2/

Hope this helps you move forward in your decluttering!

Grace based parenting #2

Tim Kimmel, in his book, Grace Based Parenting, discusses the concept of securely loving our children.  Secure love is important for their emotional development and how they carry on in their adult lives.

What's interesting about love is that children can know that you love them, but can feel like they are less important than other things in your life.  Do you give your children more time and attention then your hobbies and responsibilities?  Is the time you are spending with your children quality time or half-hearted?  This is really challenging me because there are days where I feel like a failure as far as giving my children appropriate attention.  Can I take a minute out of my chores to have a quality conversation with them?  Can I include them in the chore I'm working on so they get that bonding time with me?  Can I take 30 minutes and read them some books, sing some songs, play a game?  These are my challenges this month.  My schedule needs to communicate how important they are to me.

Another concept that Kimmel addresses is my attitude toward my children and the amount of work they are to me.  Do I approach caring for them as a burden or a privilege?  My children are all small.  Only one of them is independent enough that I can ask him for help, at age 7.  The other 3 really need help with daily grooming tasks, they need coached on clean-up and chores, how they eat at the table, all the little things that go into training small children.  When we go out in public, I have to be close to them at all times and keep tabs on them because I am not guaranteed that they will stay with me in a store.  It's for their safety and it's a lot of work.  Do they hear me talking about all these responsibilities as a burden or a privilege?  If they grow up constantly believing they are a burden to me because all I do is complain about how much work they are, am I communicating secure love to them?  This is another challenge that I am facing this month as I adjust my attitude toward caring for them.  I want them to grow up believing they are a privilege to raise instead of a burden.  I am thankful for these years because they aren't going to stay little forever.  They need to know they are worth the work and effort.

The last concept that I am ruminating on is the concept of honoring their unique personalities.  How often does our fatigue, frustration, and annoyance with our children put down things about their personalities that they have no control over?  Do we tell our children that their laughs are annoying, their passions are a waste of time, or the things they like aren't interesting enough for us to care about?  When we choose not to share in their passions and to put down things about them they cannot change, we are really cutting down their ability to know secure love.  I love that my oldest son gets excited about superheros.  Do I take enough time to listen to the things he tells me and encourage him in his imagination or am I communicating to him that I don't care about his joy?  Do I encourage my daughter in her love for singing and her ability to play alone or do I tell her to stop singing because I'm annoyed and chastise her for being anti-social?  My kids need to know that I absolutely love their unique qualities and that they are worth the attention that I give them.

What are your challenges as a parent?  What do you think about secure love and how are you communicating your children's importance to them?   

Life at Teen Challenge

Dave and I live at Teen Challenge where Dave works as a drug and alcohol counselor.  The center is located at an old military facility in Western PA.  Teen Challenge has been located here for over 30 years.

This place is in the middle of nowhere.  The driveway is almost a mile long up a long and winding dirt road hill.  You have to know it's here to even find it.  It's not just a random place you would drive past on a drive through the country.

The entire time the facility has been here, occasionally in the middle of the night, someone will drive up here, honk their horn, speed around the parking lot to turn around and leave.  Recently this has been going on and the director has taken action to block the top of the hill so no one can get up here.  Graduates of the program can remember it happening at certain points during their stay here.

Recently, one of the counselors of the program was talking to a woman from the community.   When the counselor described the program to her and the location, she recognized it as the old military facility.  Then she told the counselor, "that's the place where you drive to the top of the hill, honk your horn three times, and then you can see a ghost..." 

Mystery solved, or is it?