This past week I had to take my daughter to get extensions put in her hair. We're trying to get her natural hair to grow long faster and, according to African American hair experts, extensions is the way to go. I have become pretty proficient at hairstyles for my daughter, but putting in extensions is far beyond my level of expertise.
I found a salon that did a beautiful job with her hair in the middle of September. About a week ago, it became apparent that she needed new extensions put in, so I called and made an appointment for Thursday morning. I found childcare for my 3 busy boys, got up early, dropped the boys off, and got to my 10:00 a.m. appointment...not a small feat. I arrived at the salon and found our stylist weaving another girl's hair. Needless to say, I was a upset. How could you make an appointment with someone and forget to write it in your book?
After a few minutes, we came to an agreement that I would come back in 2 hours and her hair would get done. I left to hang out with my boys for a little bit and came back. From the moment I walked in the door, the tension was THICK. When they started on my daughter's hair, the would not allow me to sit in the room with her. I stepped out of the room, calmed down, and returned to explain to them that I never leave my daughter alone with strangers. The stylist and her boss reacted strongly, thinking I meant that I believed they would harm her in some way. That is not what I was saying, but that's what they thought.
So, we got it worked out that I could sit in the door way (I'm not sure how this was better then putting a chair up against the wall in the salon room) and people had to step over me to get in and out. From that point on, they gave me the silent treatment, got 2 stylists working on Abby's hair, and got me out of there as fast as they could without another word.
While I was there, a father dropped off his daughter, who was younger than mine, and left her there alone to get a style put in that would probably take a few hours. I don't understand how you can leave a small child alone in that situation. I can't imagine not being there for Abby when she was afraid of the hair dryer, or not being there for her to tell me she had to use the bathroom.
I have decided that what I experienced was a cultural difference that I am going to face whenever I take my children into the African American culture to have their needs met and learn about their roots. Though I'm willing to learn how they approach different situations, I'm not sure the feeling is mutual in some circles we encounter and I believe that I experienced an unwillingness to understand my culture and my parenting decisions about what is best for my child.
