Monday, October 25, 2010

To the people who decided to give up my son and daughter instead of adopting them...

I really wish you could have spent the last two days with the children you cared for as your son and daughter.  She just turned four on Saturday and he will be six in a month.  You had them when she was a baby and he was two.  I cannot understand how you could care for them as your own children for an extended period of time and then decide to give them away like they were puppies or something. 

I wish you could have been here to hear my son tell me that he does not love me because you are the only parents he has ever loved and he will never love anyone else.  I wish you could be here to explain your decision to him as he kicks his foot completely through the drywall in his room because he's angry about getting the wrong kind of candy.  I wish you could be here to explain to him why he had to leave his dog behind when he went to a new home.  I pray every day that your poor choice does not screw him up for the rest of his life. 

I love my son dearly, but it would have been so much better for him if you would have honored the commitment you made to him in the beginning and chose to get help to work through his issues with him instead of handing him back to the system.  You know, a neglected child doesn't behave very well and you really could have worked with him and sought professional help in order to deal with him so that maybe by now, since he will be six soon, he would be able to function normally. 

You know what, he is an amazing child with an incredible sense of humor, who is really smart and really loving.  Unfortunately, because of your lack of commitment to him, it takes a lot of work to get past the anger in order to see who he really is and have the opportunity spend time with that sweet boy. 

I hope your life is perfect and you are happy with your decisions!

Sincerely,
The mother who will never give up on him

6 comments:

  1. Oh Kim. I am a blubbering mess of tears now. You go girl! And big up to Abby and Sean, your little lovable imps. :)

    - Eva

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  2. the only thing i can think of to say is you are love. and that is a beautiful thing.

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  3. one day he will see what you have done for him and he will love you more than he loves anyone. You are a great mother and you have done more for him than anyone else has or ever will. Great job and keep your head up!

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  4. One day he will realize what you have done for him and he will love you more than he loves anyone else. You are doing a great job... keep your head up.
    PS the old parents should be ashamed.

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  5. I'm so very sorry that they have such a hard set of memories in their past. Adoption is a bittersweet thing, always. And foster parents, no matter how young the kids were, make a serious impact on young lives. Mikey's foster parents could have never considered adopting him, but the love they gave him still shines through. He asks often when he can go visit "Omma" again, and maybe someday, in a few years, we can indeed visit her.

    Trust will come for your kids. You've given them such a wonderful life. Time heals wounds, but scars do remain. Trust that God will use the scars to form them into sensitive, loving, empathetic adults.

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