So glad my kids have each other

Today was dance day with Little Miss.  It's our Friday routine to dress her up in her outfit, get the boys ready and head down to the studio to spend an hour letting my little outnumbered princess dance her heart out with other little girls.


When we arrived at the dance studio, there were 3 little boys whose parents have big wallets, sitting at the activity table with their "screens."  Two were sporting smart phones and one had an I PAD.  These boys are probably around 5 or 6 years old.  My boys, ages 5, 6, and almost 8, were very interested in the electronic devices, so they went over to check them out.  One boy, who I'd never seen before, said to the other two, who have played with my kids in the past, that they need to move and have some "privacy."  So, they got up, turned to my crew and told them not to follow and moved to some chairs, faces buried in their screens once more.  My boys, feeling utterly rejected, looked at me for cues about what they should do.  I, being the angry, she bear mommy, responded by loudly saying, "You guys don't need to play with mean kids."

I sat down at the table with my babies and they proceeded to entertain themselves by laughing and playing with a tiny Elmo.  They took turns making him dance to songs they were singing.  After 2 or 3 minutes, the rejection they felt from the other kids was completely forgotten by them as they sat and enjoyed each other;  smiling, laughing, playing and singing.

I am thankful for the stands Dave and I take as parents.  I am thankful that we limit electronics and place high value on family time.  My kids can use their imaginations while spending time together and get real joy out of their interactions with each other.  So, angry, she bear mommy has been humbled once again by my children's resiliency.    Thank you God for the ways you use my kids to teach me about you!

To the people who decided to give up my son and daughter instead of adopting them...

I really wish you could have spent the last two days with the children you cared for as your son and daughter.  She just turned four on Saturday and he will be six in a month.  You had them when she was a baby and he was two.  I cannot understand how you could care for them as your own children for an extended period of time and then decide to give them away like they were puppies or something. 

I wish you could have been here to hear my son tell me that he does not love me because you are the only parents he has ever loved and he will never love anyone else.  I wish you could be here to explain your decision to him as he kicks his foot completely through the drywall in his room because he's angry about getting the wrong kind of candy.  I wish you could be here to explain to him why he had to leave his dog behind when he went to a new home.  I pray every day that your poor choice does not screw him up for the rest of his life. 

I love my son dearly, but it would have been so much better for him if you would have honored the commitment you made to him in the beginning and chose to get help to work through his issues with him instead of handing him back to the system.  You know, a neglected child doesn't behave very well and you really could have worked with him and sought professional help in order to deal with him so that maybe by now, since he will be six soon, he would be able to function normally. 

You know what, he is an amazing child with an incredible sense of humor, who is really smart and really loving.  Unfortunately, because of your lack of commitment to him, it takes a lot of work to get past the anger in order to see who he really is and have the opportunity spend time with that sweet boy. 

I hope your life is perfect and you are happy with your decisions!

Sincerely,
The mother who will never give up on him

Adoption Day

December 21st was adoption day!  We had a great trip.  It was the best Christmas present to be able to make our family completely officially ours!  It's pretty amazing to drive halfway across the state to attend a hearing that takes less than 10 minutes.  It was an incredible day for the whole family.  I really think Abby and Sean are more secure in our home now that they know they are staying forever!

Sean and Abby

We're in the midst of final preparations to travel in the snow storm across the state to Sean's and Abby's adoption day.  We're praying the van holds up and does well in the snow, especially through the Laurel Highlands.  We are so excited to be able to finalize their adoption before Christmas.  What a fantastic Christmas present this is for us.  Sean keeps asking us if it's really going to happen, will he get presents and candy, if we're late to see the judge.  I don't know how a 5 year old brain can process his life so far and what's happening to him on Monday.  In some ways I think he's excited, in some ways, I think he's nervous.  I don't know if he can understand what permanency means, but we will have to walk through that with him until he feels secure.  Abby doesn't know that she ever lived anywhere else.  Her past placements are distant memories, that I think she sees in her dreams sometimes.  I think she views them as imaginary.  I am so excited that Sean and Abby will be officially Louis' Monday!