Grace based parenting #2

Tim Kimmel, in his book, Grace Based Parenting, discusses the concept of securely loving our children.  Secure love is important for their emotional development and how they carry on in their adult lives.

What's interesting about love is that children can know that you love them, but can feel like they are less important than other things in your life.  Do you give your children more time and attention then your hobbies and responsibilities?  Is the time you are spending with your children quality time or half-hearted?  This is really challenging me because there are days where I feel like a failure as far as giving my children appropriate attention.  Can I take a minute out of my chores to have a quality conversation with them?  Can I include them in the chore I'm working on so they get that bonding time with me?  Can I take 30 minutes and read them some books, sing some songs, play a game?  These are my challenges this month.  My schedule needs to communicate how important they are to me.

Another concept that Kimmel addresses is my attitude toward my children and the amount of work they are to me.  Do I approach caring for them as a burden or a privilege?  My children are all small.  Only one of them is independent enough that I can ask him for help, at age 7.  The other 3 really need help with daily grooming tasks, they need coached on clean-up and chores, how they eat at the table, all the little things that go into training small children.  When we go out in public, I have to be close to them at all times and keep tabs on them because I am not guaranteed that they will stay with me in a store.  It's for their safety and it's a lot of work.  Do they hear me talking about all these responsibilities as a burden or a privilege?  If they grow up constantly believing they are a burden to me because all I do is complain about how much work they are, am I communicating secure love to them?  This is another challenge that I am facing this month as I adjust my attitude toward caring for them.  I want them to grow up believing they are a privilege to raise instead of a burden.  I am thankful for these years because they aren't going to stay little forever.  They need to know they are worth the work and effort.

The last concept that I am ruminating on is the concept of honoring their unique personalities.  How often does our fatigue, frustration, and annoyance with our children put down things about their personalities that they have no control over?  Do we tell our children that their laughs are annoying, their passions are a waste of time, or the things they like aren't interesting enough for us to care about?  When we choose not to share in their passions and to put down things about them they cannot change, we are really cutting down their ability to know secure love.  I love that my oldest son gets excited about superheros.  Do I take enough time to listen to the things he tells me and encourage him in his imagination or am I communicating to him that I don't care about his joy?  Do I encourage my daughter in her love for singing and her ability to play alone or do I tell her to stop singing because I'm annoyed and chastise her for being anti-social?  My kids need to know that I absolutely love their unique qualities and that they are worth the attention that I give them.

What are your challenges as a parent?  What do you think about secure love and how are you communicating your children's importance to them?   

Life at Teen Challenge

Dave and I live at Teen Challenge where Dave works as a drug and alcohol counselor.  The center is located at an old military facility in Western PA.  Teen Challenge has been located here for over 30 years.

This place is in the middle of nowhere.  The driveway is almost a mile long up a long and winding dirt road hill.  You have to know it's here to even find it.  It's not just a random place you would drive past on a drive through the country.

The entire time the facility has been here, occasionally in the middle of the night, someone will drive up here, honk their horn, speed around the parking lot to turn around and leave.  Recently this has been going on and the director has taken action to block the top of the hill so no one can get up here.  Graduates of the program can remember it happening at certain points during their stay here.

Recently, one of the counselors of the program was talking to a woman from the community.   When the counselor described the program to her and the location, she recognized it as the old military facility.  Then she told the counselor, "that's the place where you drive to the top of the hill, honk your horn three times, and then you can see a ghost..." 

Mystery solved, or is it?

when you dry hot peppers, put the dehydrator on the porch

We have had one day of food dehydrating in Louis Manor.  The kids call the strawberries and bananas, "Astronaut Fruit."  They taste delicious!  We are getting some experience with produce and intend to move into jerky in the near future.  It is surprising how much water is in all the produce.  It comes out a lot smaller than how it went in.

We have successfully dried bananas, strawberries, tomatoes, and hot peppers.  I intend to make spices out of the hot peppers and use the tomatoes for soups and salads.

The only mistake we've made so far, since it is not an exact science, is that we have dried hot peppers in our kitchen and it gives the whole house a "pepper spray" type feeling.  The kids ran around all morning plugging their noses until we were able to get out of the house.  Therefore, we have learned FOOD DEHYDRATING LESSON NUMBER 1:  When you dry hot peppers, put the dehydrator on the porch.  That way you will keep the fumes outside!

I'm going to have to dehydrate the fruit more rapidly to keep up with the demand the kids have for it.  They LOVE IT as a snack.  I am a happy momma to be able to give them a preservative free snack option when we are not at home.

So far, I am impressed with the quality of this dehydrator.  I will know more once I use it for jerky.  This is definitely a way to reduce waste in our home and work toward a healthy alternative for when we eat on the go.  I hope to post pictures soon of what we are making and give some practical suggestions for how to use this dehydrator.

Grace based parenting

I am currently reading this book.  I hope to talk about it further as I finish it.  But, the biggest thing I have learned so far is a change in how I talk to other parents about what they are doing with their kids.  What works for one family, does not always work for another family.

As a Christian mother and leader in the church, when I am helping people figure out how to be the best parent they can be, what works for my family may not work for another person's family.  There isn't a formula about what's right and wrong as far as family activities, hobbies, and schedules.

So, how do I balance my convictions about homeschooling, Godly limits on behavior, attachment, healthy eating, and staying home with my children?  The answer is in the question.  These are MY convictions that God has brought ME to.  Another mother's convictions may be different than mine and there is nothing wrong with that.  Every family has its own unique culture and it is important for me to honor that.  There is not one right way to raise a family.

As I continue to read this book, I hope to post more about what God is showing me and the effects it will have on my family.

Snap Pea Crisps

I really love these for my kids for snack time.  Buying them by the case is the best value for my family.  A case lasts us about one month.  These have really helped our snack time become more healthy.  My kids absolutely LOVE them!

it is fixed!

I can start blogging again! I fixed the language change in my blog titles. YAY!

थिंग्स ठाट मके यू गो हम!

blogger is malfunctioning for me an writing all my headlines in some asian language.